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The Natehouse Show: Episode 1: That Smart Girl- The Scottish Dater
This here is the very first episode of The Natehouse Show! Plot As expected, Nate is "watching" the Parkers play the Steelers, Teddy tells Nate that the TV isn't even on, Nate doesn't mind, Then Nate asks where Gina is, Teddy then says that Gina's in the swimming meet, Gina then shockingly returns, Nate asks her how the swimming meet was, She says it was just fine, Nate questions her and then asks her if she got captain, She says no and that Drew got it, Nate gets pretty frustrated at the fact that some dude from Scotland who has NO idea WHY he's even in the damn house is the captain of the swimming team, Gina defends Drew and says that Drew's a great swimmer and deserved the spot, Nate sighs and says that why not be a captain like HE was, Gina says that she never wanted to be captain anyways, Nate gets shocked and proclaims that being a captain is every bastard's dream, Gina stops him there and says that it's not her's, Nate says he won it 3 years in a row, Gina snaps and that she's not like him and stomps off to her room, Later that evening, Nate watches the black men fight the KKK for Nate's amusement, Kelly comes in the scene........and asks what in the hell he's watching, He lies and says a wrestling show, Kelly then changes the topic and says that Gina looked down when she came home, and asks if he would comfort her, Nate sighs, Kelly says she knows that he's mad at Gina right now but, Nate interuppts to sigh again, Kelly tries to say something, But Nate finally gives up and decides to go check her, Meanwhile in her room, Gina and Drew are having a freaking hardcore makeout session and Teddy is filming the whole thing, Nate comes in, shocked and bewildered and what he's seeing storms out, Then dinner happens and then Nate tries to guilt trip Gina over what he had seen in the bedroom and then well, all hell breaks loose, Kelly snaps and tells everyone to be quiet, Nate decides to turn over to Vladimir Kozlov.........but doesn't get much help, Nate then finally figures out the idea, He should just shoot Gina, Kelly shocked says to Nate that he isn't even old enough to even USE a gun, Gina comes in that they should worry anymore, She confesses that she has a crush on Drew, Nate happy to finally hear the truth spoken goes to take the gun away............But shoots Artur by accident, We fade to black. Script *Open to the house, an audience claps* Nate: The Natehouse Show was filmed in front of a live studio audience. *Meanwhile inside the living room* Nate: Woohoo! Go Steelers! *Shows that the TV isn't even on* Teddy: Dude, What are you- Nate: Shush, I'm watching the game! Teddy: ........The Television isn't even on bro. Nate: Shut up, Of course it's on. Teddy: ...........You're hallucinating again. Nate: Yup........ *Meanwhile in the TV* Horse: .........Oh shit............... Nate: Hey Teddy? Teddy: Yeah? Nate: Where's Gina? Teddy: At the swim meet duh, Where the hell have you been all these years? Nate: Hmmmmmm.............*Seen at the dance club dancing to the famous Numa Numa song*.........Napping! *Crowd laughs* *Door opens, Gina is here* Nate: Well hello there Gina! Gina: Hello. Nate: How was the swim meet? Gina: Fine. Nate: Fine?.......What the fuck is fine for?, Did you get captain? Gina: C'mon Nate, You know that Drew gets it every year. Nate: O_o, What the? How the fuck does a bastard named Drew come all that damn way from Scotland to win the god damn spot?! Kelly: *off screen* Now, now Nate, No racism! Nate: I'm not racist Kelly! I just don't like Drew! Kelly: *off screen* I know honey. Gina: Nate, I never even wanted to be captain anyways. Nate: Are you fucking kidding me? It's everyone dream to be a captain! Gina: Not mine then. Nate: Damn it, I was a fricking good swimmer back in my day! Hell I was captain of the swim meet 3 years! Gina: *snaps* I'm not like you okay?! I'M.......NOT......LIKE YOU! *runs off to her room* Nate: *to Teddy*..............Yep..............You're damn right your not...................I was team captain...............You're not..............Motherfucker. Teddy: IDK, I was a pretty damn good swimmer back in the day. Nate: Yeah, You're right........ Teddy: Told ya. *Later at 3:25 pm........* *Nate is watching the TV for real this time, This time he's watching the Ku Klux Klan take on some black people, But the black people fight back* Nate: *laughs* Those KKK bastards got fuuuuuuuuuuuucked! Kelly: Honey, Don't you think you outta- Nate: Hang on, Gotta watch that.......AW DAMN IT! THOSE KU KLUX KLANSMEN! I swear if they win, I will come up to their hideout and burn.....their fucking........ASSES OFF! Kelly: Gina seems really upset dear, Maybe you outta go- Nate: *sighs in frustration* Kelly: I know you're mad- Nate: *sighs in frustration again* Kelly: Just go check on her. Nate: *frustrated* Allright! Allright! I'll check on the girl! Sheesh.......*Walks to her room......but not before........* Francis, You go update me on the match, I'll be back. *now goes to Gina's room* Francis: Uh..........okay? *Meanwhile up in Gina's room.........Gina and Drew are having a super hardcore makeout session, You can tell cause their barely dressed and their hair is all messed up, Plus you can hear Kiss from a Rose by Seal, And shockingly Teddy is uploading the whole thing in YouTube* Nate: Gina, Your friend Kelly made me come in and- *opens door, shocked to see what's going on........closes door...........and then opens it again........and then leaves, confused and shocked* *Later, At dinner time* Kelly: Natey! Dinner's ready! *Guess what's for dinner?........Mac N Cheese!* Nate: *off screen* Not hungry! Kelly: Are you sure? Nate: *off screen* Yes, I'm NOT HUNGRY! Kelly: .............Oka- Nate: *off screen* FINE! I'M COMING! *walks in* God damn it....... *Everyone starts eating dinner* Nate: *to Drew* Sorry we don't have any potatoes, I think that's what you scottish people like right? Kelly: Nate! Nate: What? Can't you talk? Like this maybe? "Oyyeeyoyee, PIPER'S PIT! YAHAHA!" Kelly: *Angrier now* Nate! Nate: Hey, What can I say? KKK members ain't got no shit for me. Kelly: *angrier now* Nate, That's enough! Nate: Sorry, I just never really talked to a Scottish person before..... Kelly: That's ok dear..... Nate: .......*to Gina and Drew* So uh, What have you kids been doing up in your room? Gina: *nervously blushing* Uh.......studying? Nate: About what? About how to do a blowjob?..........How to do a felattio properly?........Ooh! Ooh! I know! You're studying about Davey Cockett! *singing* Daveeeeeeeeeeeey, Davey Cockett! Kelly: Please Nate, Not in the table! Nate: YES IN THE TABLE KELLY! GINA'S BEING HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH DREW AND YOU KNOW IT! Drew: *scared* Wow, Is he that crazy? Gina: *angry* Don't do this Nate! Not in front of my friend! Nate: MAYBE I SHOULD GO BEHIND YOUR "FRIEND" THEN, IS THAT WHAT I SHOULD DO? HUH? HUH? IS THAT WHAT I SHOULD DO? *Everyone starts arguing, Except for Drew who keeps saying, "I'm under my bed, I'm under my bed", Eventully however Kelly has enough and snaps" Kelly: HEY! EVERYONE! CAN WE GET SOME PEACE AND QUIET?!........OH MY GOD! YOU GUYS ARE SUCH FAGGOTS!.................*zips to normal* Uuuh, I mean, Enjoy your dinner! *laughs nervously and blushes* *After dinner.........* Nate: So that's why i've decided to turn to you, I just want Gina to be happy and there's just about no one else to turn too! Vladimir Kozlov: ............Why not we order a pizza? Yes? No? Maybe? So? Nate: I know! What am I going to do? Vladimir Kozlov: ...........Guess what I am going to have on my pizza?.......I am going to have tacos and gummi worms on my pizza! Yes? No? Maybe? So? Nate: ...............I guess I am being hard on her........But I just want what's best for her! Vladimir Kozlov: Hoo! Damn it! It is hot! I am going to take off my jacket. *takes off jacket* Ah, Much better now! Yes? No? Maybe? So? Nate: ........I just wanted to have grandkids one day! And- *Kozlov puts his finger up Nate's mouth.....mumbles* Uuuh, What are you doing? Vladimir Kozlov: .......Your mouth feels like a vagina! Yes? No? Maybe? So? Nate: Are you listening to me? *sigh* Forget it. *Walks off* Vladimir Kozlov: .........Where is my pizza? *The next day..........* Nate: Well, I've been thinking about it, And I think I finally have the solution for this problem! Kelly: *sarcastic* Oh joy, I can't wait to see what you came up with. *to herself* Not really. Nate: This! *Gets a gun* Kelly: *shocked* Nate! You're too young for that! Nate: Hey, If it's gonna make everyone happy, It's gonna everyone happy! Gina: *dejected* You don't have to worry anymore........I admit it.......I have a crush on Drew.......*blushes* Nate: .............*happy* Oh good! Looks like the truth's out! Phew! Well I guess we don't need THIS *points to the gun* any longer! *About to throw it out but......* Artur: Hello there- *gets shot by accident* Nate: .............Oops...............*laughs nervously* *And..........fade to black*